Love and friendship

• • Blanche

    28 octobre 2026 à 17h38

    So I had this friend, who I knew for three years. We always used to play flirt, and were very comfortable with eachother. All of a sudden, on the third of October he stopped texting or calling. Something seemed off, but when he told me he was really busy, I just stopped bothering him. After a week I started to sent him something every day, just asking if he had the time to call.

    One evening I was so pissed off that I wanted to write an entire speech, so that’s what I did. I wrote about how I felt about his behavior lately, and then he said that he tried to stop our friendship. I was so confused. He said that he wanted to remember me in a good way, which confused me even more.

    I didn’t understand what I did wrong, so I asked him (kinda pissed off in that moment). He just said about distance, other friends, and just work overall. He was very vague about it so I asked him to clarify certain things and that’s what he did: he told me he had loved me and now he still cares about me.

    Oh, little detail by the way: in those two weeks when he acted all distant, my feelings for him only grew. So when he told me that he had loved me, it only came to mind to confess to him, so yeah, that’s what I did again.

    That didn’t come out very well, since he said that he had already let go, and that I was too late. I just can’t understand how someone can let go of another in two weeks, while I gave him all my attention. I called him every night, I texted him, I spoke to him, and more. I cried that night, really badly, tho I had to be kinda silent for my parents. Before I went to bed, I asked him to meet up in real life and he accepted.

    I thought it would be awkward, but it wasn’t at first. We laughed; he brought chips, and yeah we just laughed. It was fun, everything was comfortable, until he wanted to speak about everything that happened.

    The first thing he asked me tho was, “What do you want to happen now?” and I kind of wanted to avoid that question, since I already felt vulnerable enough. I actually wanted to scream that I loved him, but yeah, can’t do that anymore. Then he told me he was….busy with someone else. That person is also a friend of mine by the way, just a funny little detail right there. She even told him that he can be together with me, but for some reason that scenario didn’t come out well in his head.

    He looked at me so weirdly, like he expected more, but I said to him (while trying to hold back tears), “I’m not the person to cry or get jealous easily. Give me a day or two, and I’ll be brand new.”

    Guess what, I’m crying every day, thinking about all the memories, missing him like oxygen to my lungs.

    Anyways, I said we still can be best friends, which only made the sky grayer. He just looked at me like I was some kind of puppy with no owner, like some pathetic little child. I don’t know how to describe it.

    The moment he left, I wandered towards the school gate, sitting in front of it and waiting for my friend to arrive. Yeah, because after that I actually wanted to go to the cinema with my female friend. AND LET ME TELL YOU. I broke out in tears, while she said he was smiling while walking to the bus stop.

    Now he ignores me at school; sometimes he smiles, but it is freakishly painful. He doesn’t laugh; he isn’t himself. In the morning, I also always sit at the table of his friend group, but now it seems so unsafe. Not because of his friends, because they don’t know anything, but because he sits there and she does too. I feel like some kind of sickness while sitting there.

    Today I was sitting there at that table; she was there too, and I smiled at her. Why, you might ask, because she did nothing wrong. She is just a girl who likes a boy, but I feel like there is a tension between us. Tho the moment that guy arrived, I stood up. He made a weird turn, but then he said, “Good morning,” and I ignored his complete existence, which made the tears worse when I arrived home. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    Everything seems to fall apart lately. I can’t concentrate on my schoolwork; I can’t eat; I’m crying waterfalls, and my dreams have become my nightmares.

    I desperately want to go to him and just hug him; I want him to hold me, just speak to me, do anything.

     

     

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  • Eline Decuypere

    Maître des clés

    28 octobre 2026 à 19h34

    Hey Blanche,

    First of all, I’d like to thank you for sharing this and for finding the courage to open up like this! From an outsider’s perspective, it sounds as though you were already a bit further along emotionally than he was. The fact that he’s sending out mixed signals obviously doesn’t help. Just know that it’s perfectly normal to ‘mourn’ a situation you’d been hoping for. I recently read that when you build a bond with someone you fancy and it doesn’t ultimately lead to a relationship, these are often the hardest kinds of relationships to get over. When you fancy someone, you automatically start projecting yourself, imagining scenarios with that person,…

    So make sure you allow yourself to feel your feelings! Cry when you need to, keep a diary, write songs about it… Find something that helps you! Ultimately, time is, sadly, the best medicine. As time goes by, it will gradually become a little less painful. There are also organisations you can turn to if you need someone to listen, such as 103 écoute (https://www.103ecoute.be/) or the JAC (https://www.jac.be/). Do feel free to have a look at them too. You can also find stories there from people who have been through similar situations, so you really aren’t alone in this!

    I’m sending you a virtual hug 🫶

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